I Am Not A Baker, Part II

Repeat after me.....I am not a baker!!!! Meanwhile every blog I write is about baking. Go figure.

It always starts so innocently. A friend asks for help..."I just need forty cupcakes for a party ". I have a propensity for making small sized foods so of course I volunteer to bake them. Then I launch immediately into panic mode. My brain keeps telling me "I am not a baker", but my cooking heart says "sure you can do this!". I have a bad habit of following my heart and forgetting to take my brain with me. Cupcake baking here I come. It seems easy. White cupcakes, white frosting. Even a rookie can do that. But I can't settle for easy. Heart says, step it up, you know he loves marshmallows, make marshmallow frosting!!! I find a recipe. It's approved by Martha Stewart so it should be the best one, right? I have to admit straight up that I used boxed mixes for the cake, I figured I was already overdoing myself by making frosting, so that part was really cheat easy. Sunday afternoon I get a kitchen helper. Great, now if the frosting turns out bad I am teaching someone how to make bad frosting. With great trepidation on my part we separate eggs from yolks and I talk him through this like I know exactly what I am doing. Add sugar, vanilla, cream of tarter, get out the old school mixer and whirl away!! We waited, we watched as egg whites turned in super soft clouds of marshmallow frosting. We did it! My heart was right. So if I did it you can too. But let me tell you what I told him:

• Fluffy meringue type frosting's do not like fat. Don't let a drop of an egg yolk get in your whites or your frosting will be flat. Also make sure the eggs are at room temperature.
• Use an especially clean, preferably metal bowl for mixing
• Cream of tarter is a binding agent. It is the glue that holds all your ingredients together. You cant skip that.
• With a patient heart you must whip. Eventually you will see the pretty pillows of awesome marshmallow sweet goodness, it just takes a little time. I think ours took about eight minutes of beating.

Ingredients:

Eight large egg whites

2 cups of white sugar

1/2 teaspoon of cream of tarter

2 teaspoons of real vanilla (that's what makes the frosting taste mallowy)

Whip all the ingredients using the directions above. We used this to frost about fifty five cupcakes.

I think I will use this as my signature frosting. It goes with so many things. Add food coloring for any holiday. Naturally you could make a s'mores cupcake.

I leave you with one last look at my little helper and his happy cupcake face!!! Maybe I am a baker!!

I AM NOT A BAKER!

I have an obsession with red velvet....cookies.....cake.....Blue Bell Ice Cream. It's consuming, literally. Then last night my friend Big Don posted a picture of a frosty carton of Red Velvet Blue Bell Ice Cream.

It reminded me of a recipe that I had found on Pinterest for Red Velvet Crackle Cookies. I haven't made it mostly because everything I try to bake turns out crappy. When they handed out magic chef dust at culinary school graduation they forgot my portion of the baking dust. I am just no good at it. Crackle Cookies are all things good, cookie wise. They are crispy and crunchy on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside. And pretty...all crackly and dusted with powdered sugar. 

Three ingredients and ten minutes later I actually had the lovely cookies just like I saw on Pinterest. 

-6 tbsps of melted butter slightly cooled

-2 large eggs

-1 box of Duncan Hines Red Velvet Cake Mix 

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl. The mix will be real thick like a paste. Roll up two inch balls of the mix and then roll in a light coating of powdered sugar. Place on a cookie sheet, bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 mins. Let cool for about five more.

The best part with this recipe is that if you are not a red velvet-aholic such as I am, you can use any flavor of cake mix that you want. I bet if you could even use big fat chocolate chips in this recipe too.

They are pretty, and delicious, and yup even I could make them. Happy Baking Ya'll!

Your Final Meal

What would you eat in your final meal?

We have all either asked that question or have had it asked to us. Most associate it with some kind of death row last meal wind down.  I on the other hand prefer my scenario . I have my very last meal at the end of my very most wonderful day ever. Included in my last day should be my very favorite people, some sort of shopping excursion, probably to the grocery store in the most incredible city, probably Austin,  and *****if you are offended by sexual references, please discontinue reading now and probably my blog forever, since I often refer to food in a very intimate manner****** absolutely some highly satisfying sex. The only way to cap that all off is your final meal. So should you have one three course meal, a lot or food or just your one favorite thing? I can guarantee you one thing about my final meal. It will most assuredly include roasted beets, goat cheese and arugula. You can serve it as a sandwich, a salad, with pasta, I don't care, just serve it to me. It is hands down my favorite flavor combination.

So imagine my delight today when I met some good friends at The Yellow Jacket Social Club and discovered on the menu....Roasted Beets, Chevre and Arugula –With Moroccan carrots, On seeded multigrain served with champagne vinaigrette. My stomach did the happy dance. My eyes gazed lovingly over the description. Hell Yeah!!!! I ordered it. It came to the table a few short minutes wrapped in ordinary brown sandwich wrapping paper. I opened it...and the angels sang...Crunchy toasted multi-grain bread slathered with tangy goat cheese, thick slices of roasted beets, peppery arugula and sweet Moroccan carrots. Last meal worthy. And for a mere $7.00. If you haven't been to the Yellow Jacket Social Club it's located at 1704 East 5th Street. The owners are the bartenders and the menu is picnic food, so salads and sandwiches are always available. Sunday brunch is the big draw, if you like pork belly, or maybe some shrimp and grits or bread pudding french toast. The patio outside is shaded, and if alcohol is not your thing they made me the tastiest Spicy Bloody Mary (sans alcohol) topped with a fat olive, pickled okra & pepperoncini. I actually drank two. 

Although this wasn't my final day or my final meal it was a damn good thanks to a few of the things on my list happening. I was around some of my most favorite people, I am in Austin, I am headed out to the grocery store and I had my favorite food flavor combination. As for the highly satisfying sex, all I gotta say is... my day is not over yet...wink, wink!

Just Love

There's this girl. And she's got it bad. She is in love. The heart thumping, palm sweating, white hot passionate love that you only find once in a lifetime. The all consuming, take your breath away, dream about it all the time love. She cant get enough. She reads about it, dreams about it. And she talks about it all the time to anyone within earshot. She is constantly mouthing off about it. 


That girl is me and I am in love with ....FOOD. My favorite four letter word. While all you guys are thinking about sex every two minutes I am thinking about how to create the next earth shattering morsel for you to put in your mouth.


 You want to know how I do it? Come back and I will tell you all about it.


 "There is no love sincerer than the love of food"- George Bernard Shaw